


Welcome to Derry

by inawaragainstreality



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King, Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Welcome to Night Vale Setting, M/M, Radio Host Richie Tozier, Scientist Eddie, Stephen King References
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-12
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2020-12-13 21:08:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21004181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inawaragainstreality/pseuds/inawaragainstreality
Summary: Richie Tozier is the host of Derry's community radio. Things in Derry are different than the rest of the country. So different it brings the scientist Eddie to town. Richie Tozier falls in love the second he sees Eddie smile. Eddie just wants to do his job.It's really just Night Vale except in Derry. The weather is a random song that Richie would probably listen to and the proverbs are inspired by Stephen King Quotes.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Proverb: You can't, you shouldn't, and if you think you're brave enough, you're not.

Richie loved Derry. Sure, it had its problems. There were the deadlights that passed over the town at night and they couldn’t use the Pet Sematary. There were the so-called angels that definitely did not exist. But the sun wasn’t too hot, and the moon was beautiful. Plus, Gerry made the best damn pizza. Nobody made pizza like Big Gerry. **No One**.

Richie also loved that he was the radio host. After years of being an intern, he’d made it. He was the host of the community radio station and he lived for it. Richie knew since he was a kid, he was meant to do something where he could talk. Much to his mother’s chagrin, he had a habit of rambling and talking too much. A habit that was perfect for radio.

He adjusted his headphones and leaned into the microphone. He had his notes for the episode and the news ready to be delivered. When he first started presenting, he’d been nervous. Now, now it was easy. Sometimes he even forgot that other people listened. It was just him and the equipment.

“Welcome to Derry,” he started, “for those of you who are new to Derry and hello listeners. There is some news we need to address regarding the new Pet Sematary near Ralph’s. The City Council would like to remind everyone that dogs are not allowed in the Pet Sematary. People are not allowed in the Pet Sematary. When the Pet Sematary opens, people and dogs cannot go in. You may also see Hooded Figures. _It’s fine. _**Do not approach the hooded figures, though. Do not approach the Pet Sematary.**”

Oh, the controversial Pet Sematary. At first people were wondering why they would build a Pet Sematary that dogs and people were not welcome to visit. But this was Derry. Things didn’t always make sense in Derry. Or they did make sense. Does anything really make sense?

“The fence around the Pet Sematary,” Richie continued, “is electric and it’s dangerous. Do not look at the Pet Sematary, especially the Hooded Figures. The Pet Sematary will not harm you though, so don’t worry.

“Onto the news! Old Woman Ruth says that Angels revealed themselves to her. Which is weird, since Angels aren’t real. It’s hard to believe Ruth saw Angels that were ten feet tall and radiant. It’s hard to believe they helped her with household chores including the one angel that was black who touched an old light bulb. If you would like to purchase this light ball, please reach out to Old Woman Ruth. She’s near the Car Lot.

“There’s a new man in town.”

The scientist. The scientist that Richie took one look at and fell in love with. Part of him didn’t want to tell this news, but he had to. He was the host of community radio and it was his job. If he started talking about the scientist, he wasn’t sure how much he would rant. A new person in Derry was strange though. That hardly ever happened.

“Who is he and what does he want? He comes in here with his perfect, beautiful hair and perfect, beautiful coat. I mean, we’ve_ all _been scientist at one point so why does it matter that he’s a scientist. I bet even his mom was a scientist. What is he going to do with those beakers and weird electrical instruments in his labs by Big Gerry’s?”

Richie couldn’t even mention Big Gerry’s without wanting to get a slice. Then he thought of the new scientist going with him to Big Gerry’s. He’d probably think their toppings were weird. He probably thought all of Derry was weird. Why else would he come here?

“Also, a reminder for all you parents out there. Remember to be safe in the tall grass and the cornfields. Give your children plenty of water and keep an eye on the helicopter colors. Let’s talk about the colors. Are they black for the World Government, maybe don’t go out? Blue’s probably fine. That’s the Sheriff’s Secret Police, and they only take kids once and a while. Do not play in the area if they are painted with murals of diving birds of prey. Immediately go home and wait for a carnation on your porch.”

“We also have the very exciting game coming up against Bangor Canopy. It’s possible Bangor Canopy sent the commercial airliner today as a way to delay practice. I mean, are their stupid fancy uniforms and better pregame snacks not enough? Shame on you Bangor Canopy.”

Intern Mike was sending Richie messages. Apparently, the new scientist was named Eddie. _Eddie. _A perfect name for the perfect guy. “Eddie, the perfect new scientist, called a town meeting.” The perfect new scientist with his teeth like a military cemetery and perfectly soft looking hair. That hair that Richie hated and despaired and loved in equal measures.

“Our local chapter of the NRA is selling bumper stickers. They sent one to the station for publicity. Now, you all know how I feel about guns, but the stickers are a good sturdy vinyl. If you want one that says we are all invincible to bullets and it’s a miracle, go outside and chant NRA!”

“Alright, can we all talk about the Indian tracker. I mean. This guy, who just told be last year his parents are from England, is wearing some racist cartoon of an Indian headdress? I don’t care if he discovered some truth on the tracks of the asphalt, none of us do.” _Because he’s an ass. _Richie wanted to add.

Richie hated that guy. He hated him almost as much as Vic Criss. His brother-in-law was quite possibly the worst person in the world. Definitely in Derry. Just thinking about him pissed him off. Why couldn’t they have gotten rid of Vic Criss when Eddie came. Derry would have become just perfect if they did.

“Let me take you to the weather!”

* * *

Richie clicked a button and took off his headphones, grateful for the break. He loved his job, but he couldn’t get Eddie out of his head. Anyone listening to the radio at this point could guess that though. Maybe Eddie was listening. Richie sighed. Maybe he’d listen and like Richie too! The weather section was nice because Richie could play some music and just relax for a bit.

One of the interns knocked on the door. Richie set his phone down. So much for his music break. He walked to the door of the recording area and threw it open. Richie froze. Looking up at him was a nervous Eddie. A nervous Eddie who looked perfect and beautiful.

“Sorry to interrupt!” Eddie said, shifting from discomfort. “I’m just testing the place for materials.”

Richie was barely able to look away from Eddie to take in the box. The box was covered in wires and tubes. Richie barely heard the whistling and beeping over the sound of his own heartbeat. Could perfect Eddie hear it too?

Eddie walked over to Richie’s microphone and held the box up to it. The noise went crazy and Eddie turned to Richie and the intern in shock. He looked even more nervous. Eddie tried to say something, stumbling over his words and vaguely gesturing towards the door.

“Cat got your tongue gorgeous?”

“We need to get out of here. Evacuate the building!”

“No can-do Eddie Spaghetti. I’ve got to finish the show.”

Eddie didn’t say another word. He stomped his foot and stormed out of the room. It was adorable. Richie had a feeling anything the handsome man did was adorable. _Fuck. _He needed to get over this crush or else management might be upset. Or not. Honestly, Richie still didn’t understand management.

* * *

“Welcome back! As a quick reminder from the City Council, the structure of Heaven and organizational chart are privileged information. It is a need-to-know basis that we don’t need to know, nor should we know. Do not acknowledge Angels and report any sightings to the City Council.

“I hope you all settle in well tonight if you’re not going to the town meeting. Goodnight, listeners. Goodnight.”

* * *

Richie hit a few buttons before turning the on air sign off. Part of him wanted to go straight to bed and fall asleep to thoughts of the new scientist in town. He wondered what it would be like to run his hands through his perfect hair. He had to go to the town meeting though, that’s part of the job. At least Eddie would be there. What a lovely thought.

It was a nice night in Derry. The ominous lights about the Arby’s were beautiful. They almost made him forget about the weird amount of children that had been going missing lately, almost. He shoved his hands in his pockets and started whistling. The hall where they were having the town meeting wasn’t far away and he didn’t even have to go out of his way to avoid the library.

When he walked in, Richie noticed the Old Woman Ruth had brought corn muffins. She apologized for the lack of salt because the Angels, which don’t exist, had used hers for a Godly mission. Whatever that means. Richie nodded politely. He liked Old Woman Ruth well enough, but her Angel friends were certainly unsettling.

When Eddie took the stage, Richie forgot about everything else in the room. He said Derry was the most scientifically interesting town he’d seen and then he smiled. That grin. Richie’s heart started doing flips. He fell in love instantly. Whelp. Management be damned, Richie was going to talk about Eddie on air again, probably many times.

Richie glanced behind him and saw government agents. Richie swallowed. Unidentified menacing agents were never a good sign. He’d do anything to protect Eddie. That didn’t stop the fear creeping through him. It didn’t stop his fear for Eddie or Derry.

“There’s a house behind the elementary school that doesn’t exist.” Eddie ran his hands through his hair, looking at everyone. He seemed shocked by their lack of concern. They seemed shocked by his concern. “I mean it should exist. It’s right there. I mean the other scientists were daring each other to knock because our experiments proved it’s not there.” 

Richie smiled. Eddie already cared so much about Derry. It was cute. He was cute. A Derry Post Office representative took the microphone from Eddie and started talking about the howling had been heard outside the office. He promised that none of the workers knew and everyone should ignore the sound of a human soul being destroyed by black magic.

Alfred Zitner was next. He was the owner of the Apple Blossom Bowling Alley. Apparently, there was an underground city under Lane 5. While he hadn’t gone into the town, it was there, and he heard people yelling. Probably because of the bowling ball that had accidentally rolled into the city.

Richie wanted to focus on what everyone was saying, he really did. His eyes kept drifting to Eddie and the other scientists though. Mostly they were drifting towards Eddie. As if being pulled by an invisible rope, he drifted across the room.

“Hi Eddie! This science stuff is really interesting. Is there anything else you’ve discovered about the town? Anything sciencey?”

“Well there’s catastrophic earthquakes happening here that no one can feel?” Eddie said, eyeing Richie suspiciously.

How could Eddie think he was up to something? This science Eddie talked about was so exciting. Eddie could talk about anything though and Richie would be hooked. Perfect Eddie and his perfect science. He was so adorable.

Richie realized Eddie was still watching him. “Well guess we can submit an insurance claim and see what we can get! Right Eds!”

“Don’t call me that,” Eddie bit out. Maybe Eddie was suspicious of everyone in Derry. “Did you know the sun didn’t set at the correct time? I mean, the clocks don’t work right here.”

“Weird,” was all Richie could say.

Eddie nodded, giving a look like he thought Richie was an idiot. He turned away towards the scientists. They were murmuring about clocks and eventually the left the town meeting. Richie watched Eddie go and couldn’t wait to hear more about this science. He couldn’t wait to hear more about Eddie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Weather for this chapter is: Buddy Holly by Weezer.  
"You can, you should, and if you're brave enough to start, you will." - Stephen King


	2. The Glow Cloud

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Proverb: Fiction is the truth inside your life. Nothing is real. Trust no one.

“Welcome to Derry! The forest around us may seem endless, but scientists say somewhere it is warm and sandy…somewhere.”

Richie was still settling in when he started the news. He’d almost been late today because he couldn’t stop thinking about Eddie. Eddie with his stupid, perfect hair and his stupid, interesting science. Richie pushed his glasses up and forced himself to read the notes on his pad. Notes he didn’t even remember writing most days.

Richie thought about taking Eddie to different places. Like Radon Dunes. He’d seen a poster from the tourism board encouraging people to visit Radon Dunes. The view was said to be literally breathtaking. Maybe that wouldn’t be a good idea though. He’d learned that Eddie had asthma, probably best to stay away from the breathtaking Radon Dunes.

“Apparently there is a glowing cloud moving over Derry. Alfie Naugler, the farmer, said he thought the sun was setting, except it’s the middle of the day. The cloud changes colors but emits a low whistling noise. While there is one death attributed to the Glow Cloud, I wouldn’t think anything about it. We can’t shut down the town for a mysterious death. At least that’s what the Secret Police are saying.”

Riche looked at the report. Supposedly the police wanted people to run directly into the cloud just to see what happened. Yeah, best not say that because then someone might think it’s a good idea. What if Eddie heard and did that! What if Eddie listened to his show? Richie sighed, what a lovely thought.

“Supposedly the _Penobscot Tracker_, you know the white guy who is horribly racist? Said he used Indian magic to find some disturbing evidence. What an asshole. Honestly, I don’t even really know what he did because I can’t get over how horrible he is.

“We have a message from our sponsors!” Richie clicked a button to play the prerecorded advertisements.

Richie rolled away from the microphone and stretched. _Fuck. _Whether time worked or not in Derry, this day was going slowly. Probably because for the first time since he started interning at the radio, he wanted to be somewhere else.

He went to the bathroom to splash some water on his face. He froze. There was a pomeranian dog hovering in the bathroom next to the sink. Richie held his hand out tentatively to pet the dog. He didn’t try to bite him and even barked happily when Richie pet him. Too bad the dog was trapped, or he could have taken him home. He rushed back to the recording room before the ad ended.

“The City Council is asking everyone to go to the elementary school tonight for a questionnaire about mysterious sightings that you definitely didn’t see. As always, if you see something, say nothing. Sign-up for the Boy Scouts will be mailed to those chosen for the process. Look out for that scarlet envelope!”

Richie looked down at his phone when a Derry alert popped up. Everyone in Derry would get the message from the Secret Police so there was no reason for Richie to cover it.

** _EMERGENCY: _ ** _The search for the fugitive Pennywise is still afoot. Pennywise is an eight-legged dancing clown with yellow eyes and changes sizes. He was pulled over after speeding and giving police the driver’s license of Bob Gray. Pennywise escaped after opening his mouth, to reveal a startling amount of teeth and dancing quickly past the police. Contact with any information. _

Richie set his phone down. Anyone that gave the police a helpful tip would get an Alert Citizen stamp. Five stamps and they got a year of stop sign immunity. Usually it only caused one or two issues, but no town was perfect, was it?

“Let’s take a look at the community calendar. From 6 am to 11 pm, forget the Public Library, it is under some kind of renovation. Remember to put red and blue dots on the things you love and hate as Sunday is Dot Day!” Richie made a mental note to stick a red dot on Eddie’s forehead. “Tuesday afternoon the Derry PTA is having a bake sale to support Citizens for the Blood Space War. Wednesday is cancelled and Thursday is a free concert.”

Richie looked down at the news alert on his phone. Honestly, if they kept sending these updates and messages, he wasn’t going to have anything to talk about on the show. It was nice people got updates immediately, especially since things changed so frequently in Derry.

** _UPDATE_ ** _: The Glow Cloud has doubled in size. Derry is now enveloped in the light and humming. – Alife Naugler. _

** _UPDATE: _ ** _Please ignore the animal corpses falling. _

** _UPDATE: _ ** _The Glow Cloud is not answering to questions shouted at it. _

“All hail the mighty Glow Cloud! All Hail! And now the weather.”

Richie blinked down at his phone. The weather was playing, he knew that. And he knew his phone glitched out after he discussed the community calendar. He played back the tapes, but there was nothing.

** _UPDATE_ ** _: The Glow Cloud has left, humming along. _

“I’m sure you’ve gotten the update on the Glow Cloud. Not to get personal, but we just experienced the essence of life. Sometimes things seem huge and the only important thing, but then things move on. Now here’s a list of things:

  * Faces of Fear
  * The Last Rung on the Ladder
  * Drunken Fireworks
  * Great Hookers I have Known
  * The Running Man
  * Dreamcatcher
  * American Vampires
  * Something to Tide You Over
  * Bag of Bones
  * The Wedding Gig
  * Autopsy Room Four
  * The Blue Air Compressor
  * Full Dark
  * No Sleep
  * Flight
  * Fright

“Goodnight, listeners. Goodnight.”

Richie switched off. He leaned back in his chair. Maybe he should get something to eat. He waved goodnight to intern Mike. He always thought Mike was a good guy. He wasn’t really sure why Mike wanted to work in community radio. But interns came and went too quickly here, so they weren’t exactly picky.

Richie was almost to Big Gerry’s when he saw Eddie walking out of the barber shop. His heart started beating faster and, if by their own accord, he started walking towards Eddie. He saw his hair a few moments later. _What the fuck? _Who had cut Eddie’s hair? That was most disgusting style he could imagine. He was going to make someone’s life hell. He just had to figure out who’d done it.

“Hello Richie!”

“Eddie,” Richie answered, trying to calm his heart. “You got a haircut.” _Someone cut your beautiful hair! _

“Oh yeah, it was getting long.” Eddie lifted his hand to touch his hair for a second. “Well I have to run, science things to work on! I’ll see you around Richie.”

Richie watched Eddie walk away without another word. His hand was raised halfheartedly and it feel limp. He'd kill whoever touched his Eddie's perfect hair. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Weather for this chapter: I Wanna Get Better by Bleachers  
Fiction is the truth inside the lie." - Stephen King


	3. Station Management

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Proverb: The scariest moment is always just before you start. Except for the parts in the middle. And after you finish. Life is terrifying, be afraid.

“Welcome to Derry! Our little town here in Maine is lit by lights that we cannot begin to understand just like the moon and the arctic,” Richie announced.

“Due to the current state of the economy, the daily journal will now be a Monday through Thursday journal. It doesn’t help that the literacy rate is down. Thursday will be the Weekend Edition and Sundays will have the kiosks filled with milk. Milk, for unbiased reporting!”

“The Derry Business Association has finished the new stadium for our favorite Mysterious Hooded Figures the very figures that like to hang out under the elementary playground’s slide, in the Pet Semetary, and who sometimes take babies? The stadium will be opened once a year for their parade.”

Richie sighed. He wasn’t ready for today. It was contract negotiation time. Management sat in their office and slid envelopes under the door and waited for Richie to yell back. Richie made the mistake of reporting about management on air and that ended with an HR retraining session.

If there was one thing Riche did not want to do again, it was an HR retraining session. Richie thought about Eddie. Surely, a scientist’s contract negotiation wasn’t like this. Eddie probably would just walk by management with his fanny pack and inhaler and management would just give him the biggest raise and bonus.

“Your daily shades of the sky are as follows. Monday, redrum; Tuesday, black house; Wednesday, Grey Matter; Thursday, Shadows; Friday, Green Mile; Saturday, Strawberry Spring, and Sunday, Darkness.”

** _UPDATE_ ** _: Clean up your litter. Do your part and pick up any litter that’s not marked with a red flag. _

Richie tossed his phone on the counter. The litter in Derry was getting worse. Which was ridiculous. Richie just wanted to tell everyone to grow the fuck up and clean up their trash. He shouldn’t have to walk around and clean up after people. Their adults. And if they weren’t, it was time to learn.

** _UPDATE: _ ** _Books have stopped working! Scientists are looking into this. _

Scientists! Of course, Eddie would be able to figure out what was going on. He was so smart. Richie scanned the rest of the alert, something about sparking, biting, gas, and the smell of meat. The city council announced that their stance on books being dangerous hasn’t changed and this definitely wasn’t going to change that.

“Sources say that the Sporting Goods store on Witcham Street is a front for the World Government. Based on studies and the black helicopter pad, we sent our intern Chad to check it out. To the parents of Chad, we regret to inform you that Chad was lost during radio duty. He will be missed.”

Richie cringed. Chad had been missing for weeks. He’d meant to call Chad’s parents about it, but it must have slipped his mind. With Eddie coming to town, that’d been happening a lot. Interns went missing quite frequently at the radio station. Parents must know that by now when they let their children do an internship. _Right? _

“Citizens are reporting a fear creeping through Derry. It starts with mild apprehension, then worry, and finally mortal panic. It did not affect Old Woman Ruth. I was also frozen thinking any movement could have been my last.”

Richie stopped. A lot of things could have caused that. Contract negotiations with management always caused him a creeping sense of fear. Especially when ominous envelopes slid out from under their door just like the one that just slid out. That and he may or may not have Lyme disease. Thankfully the creeping fear passed.

“Hopefully the fear will creep on into Bangor Canopy. It would serve them right, am I right Derry?”

Richie glanced at his phone. People kept messaging him about Eddie’s haircut. Like he wasn’t already aware that his gorgeous hair was cut from his perfect head. He was going to kill Roger the Barber. He threw his phone and turned back to the microphone.

“Listeners, I am not one to gossip,” Richie said. He could already hear people laughing, because he definitely was one to gossip. Especially on air, management hated it, but people loved it. “Can someone explain to me why some barber thought he could just cut Eddie’s hair off? I mean Roger the Barber had betrayed us everyone.

“**Roger**. Roger on Jackson street with the red and white spinning pole that says Roger’s. He talks in an accent, much like the one I am using now. **Roger.**”

Richie looked out the window, trying to calm down. He really shouldn’t be harassing Roger on air, as much as he deserved it. And he did, very much deserve it. Maybe Richie should cover the traffic. That always helped get his mind off of things. Except, nothing was going on except some guy speeding. It’s not an actual race, Richie rolled his eyes.

“Now for an editorial. Dear listeners, if you could write station management, that’d be great. Either my show is ending, or my life is. But you could help. And if not, ease the pain of your loss with a slice from Big Gerry’s. No one does pizza like Big Gerry. And now, let me take you to the weather!”

Suddenly the station management door opened. Richie flung himself under the desk. He’d been working here a long time and never had that door opened. Management was roaming around the building. There was hissing and clicking.

Intern Paul was out there! He probably saw them. Now Richie was going to have to tell those related to Paul that he was gone, just like Chad. Hopefully someone impersonated them for the Thanksgiving Day Dead Citizens Impersonation Contest.

Richie glanced at the door. He could probably make a break for it and get there before management came back down the hall. He couldn’t die in here. Not if he didn’t get the chance to talk to Eddie first. If he made it to the door, he should ask Eddie out. He could invite him to Big Gerry’s. It wasn’t Radon Dunes, but Eddie probably wouldn’t die there.

He took a deep breath and bolted without saying a goodbye on the radio. Station management was already mad enough, what was this going to do? The clicking got closer and he threw open the front door stumbling into the sidewalk. He almost crashed into Intern Bev. She must have rushed out when the door opened. He liked Intern Bev. He hoped she lasted.

“Bev,” Richie breathed. “Thank god you made it out.”

“Richie, why did you tell people to write management?”

“I didn’t! I told you to post it on my social media.”

Bev gave him an incredulous look. She’d only done that because she was an intern, that was her job. Bev pulled out her phone. Richie bounced on his feet, not sure if he should stick around. He should go find Eddie or go get pizza at Big Gerry’s. Maybe Bev would like a slice.

“I deleted the post. Not to overstep boundaries Richie, but you need to be careful about what you post. Especially when it comes to management.”

“Righteo!” Richie said in an accent. “Fancy a slice at Big Gerrys?” Bev rolled her eyes, but followed Richie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The weather for this chapter: It Never Rains in Southern California by Albert Hammond  
"The scariest moment is always just before you start." Stephen - King


	4. PTA Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Proverb: Good books don't give up all their secrets at once, at least we don't think they do. We can't get into the library.

Richie rolled his eyes, forgetting he wasn’t hidden away in his recording room. Thankfully nobody was looking at him. They were all listening to Denise Arnold argue with Ruth Blum about why the increased prices in lunchrooms was beneficial. How boring could PTA meetings get?

“Maybe,” Denise’s voice pierced through the air, “there are benefits to the increase prices, Ruth. For instance, Patty is getting a bit tubby. Perhaps this financial burden will _inspire _her to eat less.”

The sound of stifled laughter and gasps filled the air. Ruth started yelling at Patty from the other podium, pointing and throwing papers. Richie leaned to Old Woman Ruth, ignoring how everyone decided to start yelling insults regardless of how it related to the increased prices of the lunchroom.

“Denise may be becoming obsessed with the best-selling Freakonomics books. Dangerously obsessed.”

Old Woman Ruth’s laugh was lost in the sound of arguing, but Richie could see her nodding. He leaned his chair back on two legs, wondering if this meeting was going to end anytime soon. It’d be easier to sit through if Eddie was here. He could just tune out the yelling and watch his perfect Eddie. Unfortunately, Eddie was busying doing science. Richie should have gone to the last city council meeting.

Before Richie had time to process what was happening, people were screaming. Not the previous screaming of insults, but terrified screaming. The same kind Richie had heard when he walked by the library at the wrong time. Richie dove under the nearest table. Maybe he should be protecting people, but he had to survive this. Who else would report the news tomorrow? It was his job as the community radio show host to survive. 

The air was full of _something. _They looked like some kind of dinosaur. Richie was no dinosaur expert, so he couldn’t say for sure. Nor was he Tom Smalley, the only expert in mist creatures. If only he’d come back out of the cornfields. If he had to guess, the creatures entered through a space-time spilt, similar to the one that’d opened where the Pet Semetary had been built. The creatures were attacking people, Richie knew that. From what Richie could tell, they were confused. Which, to be fair, Richie would be confused if he’d been a mist creature sucked through the space-time split.

Richie stared at the door, if he could just make it there. If he made it outside, he could go home and then read the meeting minutes tomorrow. There was a mist filling the air and the mist was coming from the portal. A sound was following the mist. It sounded liked children caught in a combine harvester or their mother-in-law telling them they weren’t good enough. The closer the mist got, the stronger it became. Except the sound sounded like it was becoming more warped by some cheap, anyone-can-use editing software.

If he waited any longer, he was going to be stuck in the mist. Richie took a deep breath and ran for the door, almost taking out Old Woman Ruth when he did so. When he got outside, he noticed that the only people that seemed to have been attacked were women with glasses. How the monsters knew who identified as woman was beyond Richie. Rather than wait around to see if they manage to get the mist creatures back in the portal, Richie made his way home. At least he could hide from them there until morning. 

* * *

“Welcome to Derry, where the current question is how long before we die, how long?”

On the way to work, Richie couldn’t stop thinking about how old the sun was. People always try to guess when it will go out, but how can they really know. How do they know it won’t happen in their lifetime? He could go on and on about the topic, but knew he had to focus on his community radio duties.

“For those of you who were unlucky enough to miss the Derry PTA meeting, it ended in bloodshed when a rift open in the Rec Center Auditorium.” Richie cringed remembering the events from last night, hoping his voice didn’t care the involuntary movement. “Officials have determined the creatures were Pterobuzzards.

“It is my pleasure to report that no one was injured in the incident, just some light blood splattering. Though that may contribute to Angstrom’s Repair Contractors Inc.’s repair estimates. It will likely cost $750,000. But don’t worry folks, this includes free storm windows and seasonal installation consultation.

“It’s election season again! Which means you should be visited by the Secret Police to ensure everyone votes for the correct seats. We don’t want there to be any confusion like last time. Family members will be held in the old Shawshank Prison, you know, the abandoned hole that we’re not supposed to know about.”

At first, people were upset about the illegal detentions and kidnappings, especially when they found how where they were keeping their loved ones. But the hole in the prison was pretty nice these days with their king-sized beds, free wifi, and several streaming services. Plus, there was no real proof the torture areas would be used.

“Remember everyone. If you vote correctly, you’ll see your loved ones. It’s not that hard! This message was brought to you by the City Council.”

** _UPDATE_ ** _: The Secret Police have discovered that there is still a Pterobuzzard on the loose. _

** _UPDATE_ ** _: Stay away from mists and hide inside. DO NOT USE WINDOWS. _

Richie grimaced, glancing out the window. What if these could break through windows? Richie was grateful there was only one window in the room, and he could make it to the bathroom pretty quickly. Plus, he wasn’t a woman.

** _UPDATE_ ** _: DO NOT STICK YOUR HEAD IN MIST. Citizens who do so age thousands of years. This causes crippling insanity. _

Things were not getting better related to this mist. Psychological damages were not valid claims by the medical insurance community. He hoped the people who stuck their head in the mists would be better soon. Richie set his phone down knowing any updates on the Pterobuzzard attacks would come from his phone. They never really were safe from mist creatures. Not really.

“A memo from the city council: if you notice strange auras around your blender, dog, family members, tables, doorknob, baseboards, souvenirs given to you by family members you don’t like, DVD’s you never planned on watching, and bagged lettuce, please report to the Council.”

Richie remembered the notes on the last city council meeting. They voted to remove the door from Radon Dunes. The place Richie would have loved to take Eddie. Well, maybe not that place, that area was pulsing with colored lights and humming. He especially wouldn’t take Eddie to see that horrible yellow sign with red lettering that was some tacky sci-fi cliché.

Richie smiled thinking about Old Woman Ruth. Besides going on that several angels attended, she’d been very concerned about the door to Radon Dunes. She kept saying someone was going to get lead poisoning or something.

Not only that, she informed Richie that beautiful, perfect Eddie, with the godawful haircut, was still perfect and smelt of lavender. Ruth fondly told him about Eddie running from the meeting stating that there was no time. Whatever that meant.

** _UPDATE: _ ** _The Secret Police would like to apologize as the Pterobuzzards are actually pterodactyls that came from prehistorical times, not an ominous mist. _

** _UPDATE: _ ** _Death Toll = 38, Death Toll =/= 0_

** _UPDATE: _ ** _Our bad._

“Who’s excited for the upcoming foot ball season! The Derry Fishers are excited for the division title. But let’s be honest, the only thing we care about is beating Bangor Canopy. Which is extremely likely since we have Blech Huggins who, after being struck by a sentient lightning bolt, he has the strength of two jeeps and the intelligence of them too.

“I would like to take a moment to talk about apartment etiquette. I, like many of you, live in an apartment. We all tolerate a level of annoyance. But there are some things that we have to draw the line. I mean, I’m fine with heat radiating from our shared walls. But oozing? Oozing? Not okay. Much like chanting dead languages after midnight, is not okay. I could go on, but you know proper etiquette. You just need to use it.”

Richie glanced up to see Bev waving dramatically at him. That meant it was time to talk about their guest. One of the hooded figures had come in, waiting for them since they opened. They hadn’t spoken coming in or really moved for that matter. They’d be fine if their face wasn’t a shadow resembling a black hole.

“I’d like to introduce everyone to Mx. Hooded Figure. Our guest who’s in the radio, doing radio with us. How are you Mx. Hooded Figure?” Richie’s question was met with silence. “Comments on the expansion of the Pet Sematary? The forbidden one?” Silence. “Any comments about Derry?” 

Richie stared at Hooded Figure. At least they were making noise now. It was getting louder, deafeningly so. Richie tried not to cringe, as he didn’t want to be rude, but that was horrifying and they weren’t going to stop.

“Listeners, there is not trouble with your radios. Our guest is making that noise. Oh my god,” Richie gasped when the figured started levitating. “Let’s go to the weather!”

Richie slammed a button before racing out of the room. Where was Intern Bev? Where was Intern Mike? _Right. _Intern Mike had gone missing last week on a story. Would management stop the hooded figure? Could management stop the hooded figure?

“BEV!” Richie called as he slid around the around the corner. “How do we stop that thing?”

“I don’t know Richie. I don’t speak radio interference noises.”

“Bev, as an intern, I need you to get that thing out of my recording room. I am going to get a coffee. You have,” Richie looked down at his watch, “four minutes. If you need any help, I’m sure intern Stan would be happy to assist.”

He heard Bev yelling after him, but he kept walking. He had to do much worse as an intern. This would only make Bev a stronger person. If not, well they would remember her well at the station. He made his way back to the room and it looked empty. He hesitantly knocked before peering through the door. There was no noise or hooded figure.

** _UPDATE_ ** _: The rip in space-time has been sealed. _

** _UPDATE: _ ** _The final pterodactyl has been returned. _

** _UPDATE: _ ** _To somewhere – the Secret Police._

“I’m happy to inform everyone that the PTA meeting has been rescheduled for next Tuesday at the same time. The discussion of backpacks: do they cause autism? will be addressed then. There will also be a memorial service for those who lost their lives during the attack. Best news of all, there will be a raffle. As a final reminder, do not go into the Pet Sematary. Do not look at the Pet Sematary. Do not think about the Pet Sematary.

“And folks, though this town is ancient and full of history, we are now. We are not history yet. Goodnight, listeners. Goodnight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The weather for this chapter: Wrap it Up by the Fabulous Thunderbirds  
"Good books don't give up all their secrets at once." - Stephen King


End file.
